Well, I know the title "the inner jess" sounds lame.....but who cares. I will write about what I am feeling, and well.....isn't that "the inner" part of me.

My name is Jess, and I have lots to say....I never stop talking....I know it is a problem but I am not alone! I have met many other "talkers" along the way. It is funny because when you get in the same room as a talker or you converse with a talker, you both start off blabbing away and then before you realize it you are yelling at each other. My boss explained it to me and now I can really see what she is talking about.

Let me tell you a little about myself.

I am a wife, mother, daughter and a sister. I am content with my life right now but still find everything to worry about.

Let me introduce my family:


My wife Kelly (not her real name) is 8 years older than I am. And in case you are totally confused "hum..wife". Yes, we are lesbians, dyke's, lovers, and whatever else you want to call us. She is a wonderful woman who truly loves me. She is the mother of my child and the love of my life.

My daughter Laura (not real name) is 8 months old. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wanted her so bad....we tried so hard to get her....and when she arrived I was scared shitless. I guess all parents are. I never knew that I could love another without fail like I love my daughter. I miss her all the time. I work full time and what most people that are not in my situation don't get is that I am a mother of a child that is not biologically mine and who is not on mat leave with her. Most mothers, biomoms or not, get to take that first year with their children. Well, not me....oh look.... i am rambling while i am supposed to introduce her.
She is the most beautiful baby that I have ever seen...She has a face that could melt any ones heart and I am the luck one to be her mother. She does not want to crawl. she would rather stand. She is a handful, a "high needs" child as Dr. Sears would describe. She has a scream that I never knew could come out of something so little and a smile that shows me that she loves me.
she has started to want me when i get home from work, smile and laugh at me when I get home, and want ME to hold her. This is big for me because for the first 6 months of her life it was all Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Mama Jess who, is what she thought of me. At least that is what I felt.


Anywho, I must get back to other things. I will write when I get the chance again.