the little white pill

Well.....I am taking a new little white pill. An antidepressant. Yes, me; peppie, "happy" so i thought, smiley, high strung me. My doctor gave me the prescription on Sunday and I stared at these little white pills for two days until I finally took one. I put it in my mouth and all I would say to myself is "here's to happiness, I have now become one of "those" people. "

I always thought in the past that people who admitted defeat were weak. I haven't thought that way about others in a few years but I always thought that about myself.

"Jess, on antidepressants?" I never would have thought. You see, I am the "HELPER" not the "HELPED". I give love, advise, and my undivided friendship and attention to everyone in my life. I remember helping every person in my life with at least one major thing. Now I am the one, I have officially been "HELPED".

Well little white pill........you have your work cut out for you. I just keep telling myself that I am doing this for my family and for the people in my everyday life. I never want Laura to see me in the middle of a breakdown. Although they always happen in the middle of the night when she is sleeping anyway.

I think this is the beginning to a better life. I know that I will not always be on these pills. My doc says that once my hormone pills kick in and I start to balance out I may be able to go off them completely.

I did not want my next post to be a sort of somber, depressing type of story. But I guess that is what the little white pills have on their hands. not that they have "hands" per say. you know what I mean.